Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
