don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
