i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
