I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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