god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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