well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
