Small penises have feelings too.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
