The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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