so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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