CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
no you cant smoke seaweed
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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