why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
