9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
