You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
