The maid of honor just puked.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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