two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
