How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
