Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
