But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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