Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
