IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
