im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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