I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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