lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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