Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
