i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
