just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
