just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
