everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dick very happy bro
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
