it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
