I think i peed on brittanys purse
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
