Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it's great music for shaving your balls
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
