you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
