she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Terrible idea I love it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
