So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
