and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
