I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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