there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
