Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
high people should be assigned attendants
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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