Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
