I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wear drunk well.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
