I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The ass gains better be worth it
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