Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
