So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
