its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You brought string cheese to the strip club
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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