By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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