So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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