I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I need water and some morals
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
