C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
