if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
