About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
