yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
