Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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